Many people are open to seeing a marriage therapist with their spouse but deciding when to go can be challenging. In my professional experience, the earlier spouses start marriage counseling, the better their results. For most spouses, participating in marriage counseling at the first sign of a problem is the correct course of action.
Waiting until problems become severe makes them more difficult to solve and take a longer time. However, even if problems are overwhelming, marriage counseling can still help. Being proactive by taking steps to address relationship concerns is a sign of commitment and willingness to face issues together, which can lead to a substantial increase in marital satisfaction after attending therapy.
Marriage counseling is an evidenced-based approach to problems in a marriage, meaning it relies on well-established professional techniques to help couples improve their relationship and communication. Marriage counselors help spouses refrain from blame and judgment and support the couples to create a safe space to discuss concerns and develop skills necessary for a successful relationship.
Frequently, the couples seek professional help when one or more of these issues arise:
Challenges associated with sexual relationship and intimacy
Imbalance in decision-making or division of labor
Excessive jealousy issues
A feeling of emotional distance or "falling out of love”
Challenges associated with trust or trustworthiness
Problems with kind, empathetic communication
Marriage counseling is a nonconfrontational and nonjudgemental process. The therapist role is to be a neutral facilitator. The goal of marriage counseling is to address current concerns, help overcome the problems and introduce new skills to better manage conflicts and problems in the future. The therapist works together with both spouses to determine the best course for therapy. If both spouses are ready to commit to counseling, the process usually begins with the therapist and the couple working together to determine the goals for therapy and each session. If both spouses are not on the same page about their marriage - if one wants to leave the relationship or avoid counseling - this could present a significant barrier and lead to termination of counseling.
In summary, if you think that marriage counseling could help your relationship, don't wait to initiate the process. As long as both partners are committed to work on improving their relationship, it is never too late to go to counseling. The most success comes when couples address problems before they become overwhelmed.
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